It’s not all whips and chains, even as much as we might like to make it. But just like everywhere else in life, sometimes things don’t always go exactly according to plan. Sometimes our outside stress gets the best of us, sometimes real life collides with our happy fantasy world, sometimes lady luck just feels like being a little bit of a prankster every now and then…
And it’s during times like these that we can panic, we can stomp our feet, or we can just shake our heads and burst into laughter because even when you’re dressed from head to toe in black leather, sometimes our sense of humor is all that we have to fall back on! This month in honor of Valentine’s Day it seemed oddly fitting to take a look at some of the personal mishaps that over the years have made up the lighter side of kink in my own world because as far as I’m concerned at the end of the day, if you can’t see the humor in a pink butt plug flying across the room like a rocket on its way to the moon, then really where’s the fun of even being kinky at all?!
1. It can be hard to stay in the moment when you spontaneously discover that your favorite dildo has recently been mistaken for a chew toy by the family dog.
2. That said, though, it can be somewhat useful to learn that man’s best friend is absolutely terrified of the sound of crops and other spanking implements when you find yourselves in need of a little privacy!
3. Speaking of riding crops – it’s a little known fact that not only are they great for disciplining your partner, but they’re also perfect in a pinch when you just need something long to reach the dog’s chew toy that’s gone lost underneath the bed.
4. And speaking of blowjobs – ever find yourself wishing to never experience one again in the foreseeable future?! Try accidentally peeing in your partner’s mouth! ‘Cause I’m going on seven years now and still without even the slightest hope of oral whatsoever…
5. Sharing vacation photos with your friends is fun. Forgetting that the digital camera also has a handful of choice photos from your partner’s latest crossdressing adventures from last week, complete with a collar, leash, and nipple clamps, though? Not as fun…
6. Similarly, forgetting that his chastity belt has been laid out to dry on the bathroom counter when guests ask if it’s ok to use your bathroom instead of the other one…
7. …or even just leaving your collection of dildos and butt plugs in the top rack of the dishwasher because hey, it is the easiest way to keep them clean…
8. One facial expression you’ll wish you had a camera to capture – the look when they witness you shooting a butt plug out of your ass and across the room when you really should’ve probably had a harness on over it!
9. Or likewise, when they have that shocking revelation that they actually did leave the key to your chastity belt at the office – completely by accident – when they had been teasing about forgetting it there completely in jest for weeks.
10. There’s that amusing moment when you’re walking through the fabric store with your mother and you notice the very same clamps that you typically use on your partner’s nipples as displayed for their original purpose…
11. …or when you spend a good ten minutes growing increasingly frustrated trying to fit cuffs around your sub’s ankles, only to finally realize that you’ve actually grabbed a pair of wrist cuffs by mistake…
12. It’s having your chatty mother-in-law show up at the door when you were just getting ready to untie her daughter’s hogtie…
13. …or helping her clean house and opening her nightstand to find that she has the exact same “massager” that you do.
14. There are days when you’re in such a rush for work that you inadvertently throw on the same pair of panties that you had gagged your sub with the night before.
15. And days when you arrive at work and find that one or more of your toys has mysteriously found their way into your briefcase. I suppose at least it’s better than the dog finding those ones, too…
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of the kinky ones out there, and remember, no matter how serious you play, never lose track of your sense of humor because shit happens whether you’re able to laugh about it afterwards or not.
Besides, is it just me or are dildo gags not hilarious looking?! I dare you to look one of those things in the eye and not giggle even just a little!
😉
