Sex Positivity in Erotica

I’ve already spent way too much of my life being ashamed of the things that arouse me. It’s the least I can do to write stories that better represent kink in the positive light that I’ve grown to know it…

Coming to terms with the things that turn you on can be a challenging thing … particularly when instead of being boy meets girl and they fuck … and that’s it, those desires are more along the lines of boy meets girl and they tie each other up and explore this intimate power exchange together!

Some people find all of this talk of BDSM and fetishes and kink to be daunting or scary, but I love it.

I love the sexual edge that wearing leather gives to a person, regardless of their gender.

I love the intimacy between a dominant and submissive as one allows the other to do dastardly things to their mind and body.

I love the build up, and the energy, and the tease and denial, and I love writing erotic stories about this stuff, too.

Because even though at the end of the day I write fiction, I think it’s a wonderful space to explore and share all of these positive ideas about kink and sexuality to like-minded people who love all of this stuff, too … even if they may not necessarily know it just yet.

Looking back at the veritable roller coaster of pleasure and shame that I rode myself as I came to better understand my desires, I wish that I had known that it was perfectly ok to be aroused by the thought of getting tied up. I wish that someone had pulled me aside and explained that, “Of course leather boots are sexy!” or that “It’s fine to fantasize about having a sadistic woman strap you down to a table and run electricity through your balls while she prods your nipples with her spiked heels and your helpless screams fall on deaf ears thanks to the ballgag that she strapped into your mouth before all of this started.”


When I write the kinds of stories that I write, it’s important to me that this passion comes through – not just for the sex itself, but for all of the unusual kinks and fetishes and perverted desires that my characters exhibit because that’s how my readers connect to them.

It’s not necessarily just about masturbation and a means to an end via orgasm, though there’s certainly nothing wrong with that!

Hell, if you’re one of our kinky friends lucky enough to be locked in chastity as you read, it’s definitely not about your orgasms – that’s for sure!

But reading a good, kinky story can also be about better understanding these strange ideas that float through your head every time you see a girl in a short leather skirt or walk down that aisle with all of the ropes and chains at the hardware store. It’s reading examples of people enjoying and exploring kink in a safe and consensual manner unlike most of the stereotypes that make it into mainstream entertainment.

If nothing else, it’s knowing that at least one other person on this earth is into the same thing that you’re into … which frankly is a pretty cool connection to boast between a reader and an author as far as I’m concerned! 😉

It took me a long time to personally come to terms with this stuff, and long before I was writing kinky stories about people enjoying the likes of nipple clamps and butt plugs, I spent a lot of my time loving one thing in the heat of the moment and then hating myself for it and vowing to never do it again when I had finished. Thankfully I didn’t live up to the latter and did continue to explore my sexuality because I now know that this kinky world is so much more vast and beautiful and exciting and loving than I ever would’ve known just occasionally peeking in from the surface.

I sincerely hope that my erotica is able to share that perspective of kink because there’s nothing wrong with having these kinds of desires, and truth be told … they’re actually A LOT of fun.



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Exploring the world of kink through the written word, KinkyWriter writes erotic fiction about bondage and fetishes, domination, chastity, cuckolding, and more!
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